Sweet 28

Yesterday was my birthday, and I wasn't celebrating. I was in the middle of important job to setup programs for LIVE operations. The best meal I had yesterday was just Subway sandwich I had to gobble up before resuming my work. Luckily, so far, till now, there's no complaint.

I don't know why lately I always feel lazy. Like seriously, I have no motivation to do work. It's not that I'm having issues or unsolvable things in the office, but I always long for relaxation time at home, on the bed. Gah!

Is it because of the age? I am getting older, yes. That's it. I guess that's why.

There are so many changes I want to do but to resign job is not one of it currently. I've been assigned one crucial project with one important client. Do I need to worry? I suppose to, but like I said, I am too lazy to worry. Now I am worried of myself.

Usually, when I have a tendency to worry on something, I'll prepare everything and work on it successfully. But now, I really just want to rolling on the bed and get some looooong sleep. I don't know though. What is wrong with me. Is it depression?

And I am getting forgetful too. I always forgot what I bought and end up buying similar things again. Worst, I lost them waayy before I can use them. And end up buying again. Why???????

And just now during meeting, one of the system I developed with love, sweat and blood was unusable due to poor user's cooperation. Not my fault. The design was particularly from my client and the system were distributed among their vendors. Now vendor pleaded not to use it. We got the money and my boss is not less happy but I was the programmer, I do feel wasted. My love, sweat and blood is wasted.

Hopefully, I'll get bonus. I want to pay down my loan. And by end of 20's, I really do hope I'll get some financial freedom. Not totally, but at least, I can take days off without having to think about money and financial commitment.